Change it Up

I came to a realization today that as I age, the things I become used to and expect to have every day will one day end. I know what you're thinking, "Thank you Captain Obvious", but understand that no matter how many people tell you this, it's not until it happens that you become locked in a sense of fear or even panic. Stepping back and looking at the situation from another point of view isn't possible until you come to grips with the fact that nothing you can do will keep things from changing. As time goes by, families change, parents, grandparents, spouses, loved ones and friends pass on. One thing that never changes is that nothing stays the same. This should be easy to adapt to, after all, we were made to adapt. We can fly, travel to the moon, survive in the most horrific conditions imaginable, but a family member passes away and we crumble like a house of cards. I think that this is by design. If we never suffered loss or said goodbye to a friend, we would atrophy into an instinct driven animal. Yes, animals suffer loss, but only when their needs aren't met. We have the remarkable ability of memory and mental imagery, and it is in this aspect we find ourselves reminiscing about the people, places and material things of our past. This exposes us to emotions that can help us and hurt us. I often find myself thinking of embarrassments and mistakes I've made, family members long passed, great times and bad times. I find one common thread binding it all together... Love. Not the "I love ice cream", but the "I would give everything I own for one more chance, just one minute to tell him or her how I really feel". I think that I have a unique perception of change. When I was a child (9), our house burned and we lost everything, I know, tragic right? It was the best time of my life. My parents were on the verge of divorce, we lived on great property but the house was a dump, and our lives seemed to be falling apart. When the house went, my parents patched things up (not easily, but effectively), we got a new house, and insurance money had my brother and I sleeping in brass beds with new close on our backs. We fared better after the fire then before. Change is not easy, but I can tell you it opens a whole new book of options. Material things are just that, material. I wonder how many people would feel complete liberation if they just walked away from their possessions. I wonder how many people could walk away from their possessions. Easily thought, but not easily accomplished, giving up everything goes against our nature and our societal structure. We spend our lives acquiring things, gathering things and saving things, but for what? Is there a requirement that our families must have to rummage through our junk and sell the things of value just so they don't have to lug it all around after we die? I could walk out to my garage and stretch out my arm in any direction and knock over about 20 things that are USELESS! What for? Is it so important to keep this garbage that we must construct housing for our garbage? Admit it, how many people only have to go the the "Junk" drawer in the kitchen to find 15 pounds of items that "could be worth something someday". That stuff is only worth what someone will pay for it, and I doubt someone will pay $25 for a Coca-Cola Coaster that you found at a yard sale for only 25 cents. Yes I've seen television shows that tell stories of that great "find", but I hate to break it to you, the odds are you're not that lucky. So when we start collecting things for sentimental reasons, we justify to ourselves that "it's all I have" of someone long passed. Remembering loved ones is important, but not at the cost of your living space. My wife was given much of her grandmother's dishes and the like and with these items was a set of salt and pepper shakers. Very nice set but they had extremely small holes in the caps. One evening during dinner I got tired of shaking the pepper shaker like a can of paint, and went to the garage, grabbed a drill, and proceeded to put a 3/16 inch hole in the middle of the cap........ I then proceeded back out to the garage where I spent the rest of the evening, after I ate my dinner over my workbench. My wife still carries bitterness about this incident but my thought is, "I will not sacrifice functionality for the sanctity of a memory". I feel that it is important to remember that if we are going to use things, they must work properly or what's the purpose of having to go out of our way to use something simply to remember someone with every shake. I thought I would rather happily shake the pepper out instead of cursing her family while my arm goes numb throwing my shoulder out of socket to get three flakes of pepper.