Failed Innocence

In early October of 1973 there was born a little boy. Generally happy and with little of importance to complain about, he was raised by two loving, hard working parents. As he grew and learned the ways of life, many happy and sad moments added to his memory the lessons he would need to face the world. Tragedies and happy times acted as milestones in his life that separated time in eras. Some good and some bad, these eras developed a timeline that allowed the boy to segment these memories as those to be remembered in different ways. When the boy reached the age of 17 he approached his parents about the possibility of joining the U.S. Navy. With deep skepticism his parent's signed the Department of Defense form allowing him to join at 17, once he graduated high school. So it came to be that the boy was now a man, and endured the rigors of basic training and specialty school. The man not only succeeded in the military but showed promise for a career. Then the man learned his first lesson in politics and suffered an embarrassing blow to his future in the military. Normally this would not dissuade someone from persevering but in this instant the blow was more than an outrage to him, it was devastating. The man came to the decision that four years was enough and he accepted his honorable discharge. Newly married and eager to start his life he and his new bride decided that returning home to the comfortable surroundings of his home state would be the safest way to begin this new undertaking. Soon the man and his wife discovered just how unprepared they were for the trials of life. Struggling to make ends meet and keep ahead of the bank, the man took a second job while going to school. These two newlyweds only saw each other on special occasions and when scheduling allowed. Soon marital strife crept in the door and disagreements and poor decisions became common place. Then one afternoon, after each of them had lost a job and both struggled to maintain composure, they simultaneously came to the realization that the only way to stay together was to quit the jobs they had and move in with his parents, file bankruptcy and bury the lives they had become accustomed to. This decision soon payed off and within 6 months the couple was out of dept and saving up to buy a house. 

Sounds like a modern day story, doesn't it? My wife and I endured this almost twenty years ago when "times" were good. Life is tough no matter how many people are out of work. I believe that this entire economic "recession" would not be nearly as bad if we weren't bombarded with the misery every 16 seconds by thousands of different media outlets and "news" organizations. Do yourself a favor and turn off, try this, I did and you wouldn't believe how much of a difference it made in my attitude, don't watch the news, keep your radio off and if you have to listen to music, only listen to Pandora Radio or your Ipod. Actually form your own opinions and forget about your political party for two weeks. Then think of how different your attitude is. You won't believe how much negativity you are dealing with every day. Of course you can also ignore me and turn on the television and listen to the news reports about corrupt prisons, racist politicians and "another" shooting at a preschool perpetrated by a recently terminated care giver. Good luck with your "positive" outlook.

Change it Up

I came to a realization today that as I age, the things I become used to and expect to have every day will one day end. I know what you're thinking, "Thank you Captain Obvious", but understand that no matter how many people tell you this, it's not until it happens that you become locked in a sense of fear or even panic. Stepping back and looking at the situation from another point of view isn't possible until you come to grips with the fact that nothing you can do will keep things from changing. As time goes by, families change, parents, grandparents, spouses, loved ones and friends pass on. One thing that never changes is that nothing stays the same. This should be easy to adapt to, after all, we were made to adapt. We can fly, travel to the moon, survive in the most horrific conditions imaginable, but a family member passes away and we crumble like a house of cards. I think that this is by design. If we never suffered loss or said goodbye to a friend, we would atrophy into an instinct driven animal. Yes, animals suffer loss, but only when their needs aren't met. We have the remarkable ability of memory and mental imagery, and it is in this aspect we find ourselves reminiscing about the people, places and material things of our past. This exposes us to emotions that can help us and hurt us. I often find myself thinking of embarrassments and mistakes I've made, family members long passed, great times and bad times. I find one common thread binding it all together... Love. Not the "I love ice cream", but the "I would give everything I own for one more chance, just one minute to tell him or her how I really feel". I think that I have a unique perception of change. When I was a child (9), our house burned and we lost everything, I know, tragic right? It was the best time of my life. My parents were on the verge of divorce, we lived on great property but the house was a dump, and our lives seemed to be falling apart. When the house went, my parents patched things up (not easily, but effectively), we got a new house, and insurance money had my brother and I sleeping in brass beds with new close on our backs. We fared better after the fire then before. Change is not easy, but I can tell you it opens a whole new book of options. Material things are just that, material. I wonder how many people would feel complete liberation if they just walked away from their possessions. I wonder how many people could walk away from their possessions. Easily thought, but not easily accomplished, giving up everything goes against our nature and our societal structure. We spend our lives acquiring things, gathering things and saving things, but for what? Is there a requirement that our families must have to rummage through our junk and sell the things of value just so they don't have to lug it all around after we die? I could walk out to my garage and stretch out my arm in any direction and knock over about 20 things that are USELESS! What for? Is it so important to keep this garbage that we must construct housing for our garbage? Admit it, how many people only have to go the the "Junk" drawer in the kitchen to find 15 pounds of items that "could be worth something someday". That stuff is only worth what someone will pay for it, and I doubt someone will pay $25 for a Coca-Cola Coaster that you found at a yard sale for only 25 cents. Yes I've seen television shows that tell stories of that great "find", but I hate to break it to you, the odds are you're not that lucky. So when we start collecting things for sentimental reasons, we justify to ourselves that "it's all I have" of someone long passed. Remembering loved ones is important, but not at the cost of your living space. My wife was given much of her grandmother's dishes and the like and with these items was a set of salt and pepper shakers. Very nice set but they had extremely small holes in the caps. One evening during dinner I got tired of shaking the pepper shaker like a can of paint, and went to the garage, grabbed a drill, and proceeded to put a 3/16 inch hole in the middle of the cap........ I then proceeded back out to the garage where I spent the rest of the evening, after I ate my dinner over my workbench. My wife still carries bitterness about this incident but my thought is, "I will not sacrifice functionality for the sanctity of a memory". I feel that it is important to remember that if we are going to use things, they must work properly or what's the purpose of having to go out of our way to use something simply to remember someone with every shake. I thought I would rather happily shake the pepper out instead of cursing her family while my arm goes numb throwing my shoulder out of socket to get three flakes of pepper.

Work Through It

It's been a while since I posted anything, I guess I've been happy and had nothing to get worked up about.
What has happened to work ethic and dedication? When did it become the norm to hear some sniveling whiner complain about how "hard" their job is? Why am I spending most of my day baby sitting instead of doing my job? Furthermore, why am I not getting paid as a nanny while I'm wiping snotty noses from adolescent acting twenty somethings that still live with their parents? I'll tell you my opinion and you can form whatever opinion pops into your head. I think this problem stems from the fact that no adult in their lives has told them to shut up, get to work and figure it out. Schools have become so focused on getting kids past tests that they no longer spend time teaching students to solve problems. Life is not multiple choice. "Should I 'A' fix this car, 'B' go to lunch, 'C' go watch Youtube on the computer, or 'D' stand here looking stupid and ask the next person that walks by to show me how to do my job? 'D' sounds good"............ I'm not sure who to pin the blame on, but one thing is certain, in twenty years when the working class is made up of these mindless miscreants, I wonder what will motivate them. I can imagine what will constitute a day's work. Clock in, surf the "mind net" for a while, stand around talking about the previous evening's funny stories and then clock out for break. I joke but think about it, do we really have confidence in a future work ethic? I know that everyone thinks of their children as smart, well behaved and capable, but how many children do you know that are born welfare recipients? I'm not saying I'm perfect, after all, I am typing this on my laptop while at work. Keep in mind, I only get paid if I'm working on a car and there is currently no work.
Every now and then I see a glimmer of hope in a teenager that is working hard because he or she is trying to save up for something. Then I have my hopes dashed when I hear the same teenager griping because "Mom and Dad" won't pay for the car. I think we shelter our kids too much, let them fall down once in a while. Let them go without every now and then just so they know how unsatisfied desires burn. Allow them to feel jealousy toward a friend or acquaintance for that "cool" thing they got for their birthday. These are all feelings they must learn how to deal with anyway, why not start young? We never want our kids to feel this way but lets face it, it's inevitable. Eventually they will be faced with a situation that they feel inadequate, and without tools to deal with it, they will react irrationally. Then instead of working harder to achieve their goals, they will feel entitled and think that it's someone else's responsibility to provide for them. I wish I could give my son everything he'll ever need, but then he will just "need" more. Most people would agree that hard work is important, but how hard are you willing to see you'r child work? Would you ever allow him or her to develop blisters or smash a finger or two performing manual labor? We may think tough but how far would you actually follow through? Work isn't easy, or it would be called "playing", and some games are more strenuous than work. Think about it next time you tell you'r child to clean his or her room, I have never seen a child jump up and run into their room yelling "HOORAYYY!! I get to clean my room!!". However they know it has to be done, or will Mommy or Daddy do it for them?

Bully Idea

Well, it finally happened, somebody actually made a documentary of how bad bullying has become in our schools. I'm not talking about name calling or teasing, I'm talking about outright abuse. I have a unique outlook on the subject as I was a victim of bullying as a child. One thing is for sure, I have neither remorse nor pity for the retribution I enacted upon the perpetrators of these assaults. I can recall one incident whereas a classmate held me down while two more threw snowballs at my face while standing over me, I was able to kick one of them in the face and I knocked a tooth out of his smug smile. Just to prove how out of balance our school system can be, I was suspended for 3 days and the boy with the missing tooth (the principal's son) was touted as the victim. I realize that I sound hateful and bitter, but keep in mind this was not the first time, nor was it the last by any means. After several years of dealing with this problem and even changing schools due to a transfer with my father's job, I seemed to be a marked target. Constant bombardment of bullying seemed to be like a fawn being continuously harassed by a wolf sensing fear and weakness. One day I had enough and during a school assembly I was sitting, listening to the guest speaker and I felt a sharp pain in my neck. I spun around to discover a classmate holding a pencil with a newly broken lead. I put my hand on my neck to feel for the broken piece and found it was stuck in my skin too far to pull out. To say I raged would be an understatement. I grabbed him, threw him to the bleachers and proceeded to beat him in the neck screaming "NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS". I'm not condoning my actions but I can tell you that it put an immediate stop to the barrage. This last encounter sounds as if it occurred in junior high, right? No, I was a Junior in high school, and a member of the football team. I was never punished for my reaction but it would not have surprised me if I was.
I do not tell you these stories to invoke sympathy, I tell them to convey the severity of the problem. As many victims of bullying have had, I had a "Kill" list. This list contained the names of the people I wanted retribution against and even had a corresponding list of the method for which I wanted to enact it. Of course, I never acted on this list but the day I heard about the Columbine incident, I actually understood what would drive a person to that level of vengeance. I was very fortunate that I had a very supportive mother and father and they taught me to not care what other people think of me. I feel their support was the only thing that kept me from hurling into the chasm that was my anger and hatred. I could have easily acted on my impulses and caused serious injury or death to one of these individuals but my Christian upbringing and moral senses kept me from committing the unthinkable.
Later in life I became good friends with one of my former enemies and I once asked him why he harassed me so incessantly. His answer astonished me. He said "because everyone else was doing it". Really? Is that what caused my pain? I would hazard a guess that not one person even knows why they did this other than that someone initiated it and they just did what everyone else did.
When did individual thought become discouraged? When did we decide that rocking the proverbial boat is an unforgivable offense? We tell our children to be accepting to diversity, but when we see someone that looks or acts just out of our cookie cutter normal pattern, we, even as adults, reject them and persecute them. I often find myself doing the same thing, judging without knowing anything them.
I find myself often making fun of myself just to disarm a would-be teaser. I'm old enough now to not take offense when I hear an off color comment, however when I'm walking away from a situation to prevent a confrontation and I'm insulted to my back, you can bet I will pull an about face and there will be an opportunity for that person to recant their statement.

Race for the Win

Politics is a very murky pond to swim in and an even tougher pond to walk around.  Monitoring the debates and trying to make sense of it all is not only causing confusion, but is giving me a large sense of panic in regards to what will happen in November.
Those that know me, know that I am a conservative Republican, but also know that I generally have a good sense of right and wrong. I realize that this is confusing to some liberals but hear me out. I'll give an example; I believe in my absolute right to defend my life, family and property, but not to the extent that I should take someone else's life just because I can. If that is what is required then so be it, but only as a last option. I take my responsibility as a father and a husband very seriously, furthermore I take my responsibility as an American just as seriously. In this capacity I feel outrage when I see an advertisement by the President, reaching out to all "African Americans". This is racist and the President should be ashamed of himself. How fast would my political career be over if I place an ad on Youtube pleading with all "Caucasian Americans" to help reelect me? That short career couldn't be clocked with radar gun.
I have absolutely had my fill of Americans that still think that race has a roll in any public forum. So much attention is placed on the betterment of society but we have forgotten that racism is favoring one race over another. If I'm not able to start a club meant only for Caucasians (just an example), then why can other ethnic groups do so without social upheaval? Please don't misunderstand I'm not saying we should ignore atrocities that have occurred, quite the contrary, we should talk about them and teach future generations that these acts only weaken the fabric of our Nation. We should also teach them that any preference of ethnic background over another is reprehensible. Personally, I don't understand why I should be penalized for indiscretions of my ancestors. I have never in my life performed a malicious act against another person based on skin color, so why must I be treated as though I have?
The words "at risk" are extremely over used. What makes a child so much more "at risk" than another? What would make a child "at risk"? Lower income? I grew up in a working class family in generally lower income areas. I had no hopes for a college fund, dreams of an inheritance, other than maybe tools. I was raised by a very hard working, tough father and an even tougher just as hard working mother. I was pushed to experiment with various controlled and dangerous substances, by school mates and acquaintances but I knew what the consequences were, and I respected my parents enough that I didn't want to disappoint them. Single parent homes? I have a cousin that raised five sons almost completely by herself and though things were never easy and she had problems along the way, all of her sons are now respectable hard working men. I believe "at risk" means just what it sounds like, a label placed on children whose families are facing troubles and extreme shortage. So instead of helping the parents learn how to better they'r situation, we throw money at the kid's problems. This is how you get a socialist nation, teach the children that the government will send the checks every month if they stay screwed up for their entire lives. Tell them that their plight in life is because the color of their skin, and tell them that if they vote for the candidate that matches their skin color, he will provide.
A man with his fist in the air yelling a color and proclaiming it's dominance is racist unless he's declaring a preference of cake flavors enthusiastically.

What's new?

So much time and money is spent by people trying to create a new plan or new idea. This makes no sense to me, in fact, it seems a down right waste. Why can't we learn from history and just recycle old ideas? I hear all the time that times are different. Just exactly how are things different? Has poverty been eliminated? Has greed and dishonesty been removed from society? Are prisons and jails no longer needed because a utopia has been created? No, nothing has changed, people are inherently selfish, vice is still corrupting society, and anger has not only become acceptable but encouraged by mindless television programming and examples of irresponsible egg and sperm donors that call themselves parents. Change only occurs in cycles and never deviates from the core motivator of the change. The only way to really change is to modify the key elements, for example, poverty is the driving force behind many crimes, jealousy is usually the motivator. We, as a society, place importance on material possessions, shiny objects and pretty shapes, why? What thing can make me feel complete? This is a question that has plagued humans since creation (my blog, my beliefs). Since this is human nature, and more than likely will never change, the elements of the problem won't change, so why do people think times have changed. I could spew quotes and recite historical documents, but that would only induce debate of interpretation. It is my opinion that people want to think that times are different so that they can think of themselves as special and unique. These are the same people that complain because their phone reception isn't as strong as it was advertised. You are not special or unique once you reach the age that you realize what you must do to survive. I believe that holding onto a fantasy that no one is like you is not only foolish but the result of parents not allowing they'r children to fail. Failure is important, as an adult and a human. Without failure, we wither into a week wretch, unable to pick ourselves up from the mud and adapt to the world we live in. I feel as a society this is what we have become.
Easily lead and easily pressured, we have made things like status and attention priorities. Thomas Paine was a great part of American history, do you know who he was? Alright, too difficult? John Adams, what did he contribute in history? Still to difficult? Snookie, what does the nation have to thank her for besides a living model of how not to live. Attention is the newest currency, fueled by selfishness, causing people to crave the spotlight to make themselves feel important. You are only important to your family and friends, I really don't care about you unless you fall into those two categories. Furthermore I wouldn't expect you to care about me unless what I am doing is potentially damaging to you or you'r family.